Chapter 56
The Xupran
Six months earlier - Selene Valley, Possum State, Australia - Research Center of the Transformation Of Exobiology
The Research Center of the Transformation Of Exobiology was an American shell company operating in Australia for New Horizons research. They were capturing the local animals of the country to test the genetic enhancement serum.
In every country, one day a week, garbage is collected and hauled onto a giant spaceship set to take off to the terrestrial planet, Xupra. Xupra is a terrestrial planet in the Peleus Star system furthest away from the sun. Ships travel to this planet to dump garbage from Reona for the Xuprans to feast on. The life on Xupra is anything but intelligent. They are cockroaches who cannot be killed by anything unless they eat peanuts or nuts. There was vegetation and plant life on Xupra until the Xuprans ate it all and now it's a planet filled with stupid cockroaches and trash. The odd time a spaceship may have a couple of Xuprans jump ship and a researcher from New Horizons located a Xupran in Selene Valley to capture and experiment on.
In a remote building on the outskirts of Selene Valley, a white man tapped the cage with a large Xupran inside of it. Brown, short hair gently hung over his anguished face. His bloodshot amber eyes, set high within their sockets, scrutinized the giant cockroach in its cage as he jot down notes on his pad.
He opened the cage to allow the Xupran out. It moves its antenna and scurried quickly across the counter grabbing onto a vile of the genetic enhancement serum. The man raised his hand to halt him but stopped in his tracks when he saw the cockroach take the large vile, put it into his mouth, and swallow it whole. The researcher couldn’t take his eyes off the ravenous creature.
Suddenly, the place shook. The researcher grabbed a hold of the countertop trying to regain his balance. This isn’t San Estelita, Golden State, he thought. We shouldn’t be getting Reonaquakes, he wondered.
An explosion occurred a few feet away from where he stood and a powerful blast hit the door panel, slamming the door on top of his skull. Stunned, he shook his head, trying to clear the effects of the blow.
There was a second explosion, and this time the charge tore through the windows in the lab. The sounds were like cannon fire in the concrete expanse of the lab. The researcher’s hair was covered with bits of sharded glass and the stink of burning plastic filled his nostrils.
His ears were ringing, which is why he didn’t pick up the sound of footsteps immediately. Then he thought, THE ANIMALS, as smoke filled the lab and a trail of fire danced on the countertops and surfaces.
He hastily turned around to see someone stepping calmly through the smoke. It was a tall, thin white man with short, spiky blue hair dressed in a black fireproof tracksuit, black gloves, and black boots. Sunglasses obscured his eyes. The researcher’s panic cultivated inside him as he backed away from the man. The man's smile spread showing his shark-like grin.
Researcher: “Wh-What are y-you doing here?!”
He stammered and swallowed the lump in his throat.
Man: “I’ve come to take something of value and put you out of your misery.”
He smirked as his hand rose.
In an instant, the lab ignited in blue fire. The fire in the lab, instantly sucking in the fresh air from the open window, rose up in front of him, its crackle building into a vicious roar.
Flames reached out to him, and the researcher was helpless to pull himself away as panic clasped him in its paralyzing grip. He felt the burning heat against his face, even felt the blisters begin to form wherever his skin was exposed.
The man placed the vials of genetic enhancement serum in his duffel bag. He took one last look at the researcher grinning evilly before he seemingly vanished into the smoke.
Backing away, stumbling, and tripping, the researcher retreated from the fury of the fire. He bumped into something, something hard and ungiving, and though his eyes remained fixed on the inferno that was already invading the lab, his hand groped behind his and felt nothing.
Panic seized him again, for suddenly the familiar space of the lab seemed to vanish, leaving him alone with the consuming flames and the painful screams of the animals trapped in the cages.
Smoke poured through, a penetrating cloud of searing fog that reached toward him with angry fingers, clutching at him, trying to draw him into its suffocating grasp. Buried in the formless body of smoke was the glowing soul of the fire itself.
The researcher collapsed on the floor as his notes caught on fire, burning up into nothing, and then he was dead.
~
The Xupran crawled out of the lab, seared, but still intact, and glanced at the now engulfed lab where it stayed for two weeks. It was as if one moment the building had been whole, and the next it had been swallowed by flames.
The Xupran grumbled. It just ate but it was still hungry. It needed more food and left the blazing building in the search for food.
~
The Xupran already feasted on and cleaned out three or four gardens as it made its way into Selene Valley. It arrived down a street covered with elm and gum trees and stopped in front of a house when it smelled old food. It was a green weatherboard house with a broken moss-stained picket fence. Weather and time had eroded the old weatherboard; paint chipped in places, and fragments of the roof above the patio were falling off. In the driveway, was a Kingswood Station wagon.
It ventured onto the property in front of a scarecrow. The Xupran took the scarecrow and began devouring it, swallowing it whole.
It looked up on the top floor at the window open with pink light emitting from it.
It climbed up the side of the house and into the window. It entered a bedroom with pink light illuminating it. It had pink wallpaper and loud, garish clothes and old food covered the floor. There was a TV playing American Pizza and a mattress where a skinny orange man with a mop of bleached blond hair lay. He had a diamond-shaped face, moss green eyes, a pointed nose, and pouty lips. He was dressed in a pink sequin vest exposing his bare orange chest, blue leopard print spandex pants, and pointy white cowboy boots that looked more like clown shoes.
The creature dropped onto the floordrobe and began devouring the clothes making a path for itself.
It made its way to the VCR and pressed the eject button popping the tape out.
Orange man: “OWWHH!! HEY! I was watching that! Stupid, dumb bug!”
He snapped. The orange man brushed the plastic goon sacks out of the way as the creature put the tape in its mouth and began eating it.
Orange man: “OHHH!! NAH-AH! That’s American Pizza! It’s MINE, GOSH!”
He shrieked and whined, grabbing the tape and prying it out of the creature’s mouth. The creature grabbed tightly onto the tape refusing to let go of its meal. It hissed and sank its teeth into the orange man’s arm causing him to scream and fall back. The creature bit him on his arm, leg, and chest. His shrill shrieks filled the house. He smacked the Xupran across the room and screamed and cried. The Xupran then began eating a pair of leopard print pants.
Orange man: NOOOWAAAHHH!! MY LEOPARD PRINT PAAAAANTS!”
He whined. He fell onto the mattress in pain as he began convulsing and twitching.
The creature grabbed a jar of peanut butter and shoved it into its mouth. After it swallowed it entirely, the creature stopped. It then let out a loud caterwaul that shattered the window in the room and exploded the TV before the creature flipped over and died. Then there was silence.
~
The door to the orange man’s bedroom swung open. A swarthy Italian man whose dark brown hair was styled in an undercut stormed into the bedroom. He had an oval-shaped face, peacock blue eyes, a chin puff goatee, an eyebrow piercing, and three-lobe piercings on his ear. He was dressed in a Persistence Pestilence shirt, dark torn jeans, and black Doc Martens boots.
He pursed his lips tightly, clenched his fists, and stormed over to the mattress where the orange man lay. He lifted it up to slide the orange man off of it and onto the floor. He yelped and was awoken from the impact of falling facedown on the floor. He lifted his head and sat up to rub his sore head.
Orange man: “Owwwh, what is the big idea, Mr. Doom and Gloom?!”
He grumbled picking shards of glass from his rat’s nest of a mane.
The Italian-Australian man standing over the orange man was Blake Sabatini—the owner of the house and the elder brother of Bradley Sabatini. The orange man is Maxwell Miles Malone, Jr., better known as Maxx. Maxx is the founder of his imaginary glam metal band, Sex Beest, and is currently residing with the Sabatinis after being kicked out of his former house for refusing to pay the rent.
Blake slipped on a pair of latex gloves and picked up a black garbage bag.
Maxx: “Hey, you ain’t gonna finger my asshole, are ya?! Maxxy Malone ain’t gay, gosh!”
He scoffed.
Blake: “Get your mind out of the gutter, jester fuck.”
Maxx waved his hand at Blake and shrieked when he saw him gathering his clothes and stuff to put in a black garbage bag.
Maxx: “NOOOOWAAAAHHH!! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN’, ASSHOLE?!”
He screamed.
Blake: “This mess—your mess—is attracting mice and rats!”
He countered, shoved Maxx down on the mattress, and continued gathering Maxx’s stuff to trash it.
Maxx kicked his feet and stormed out of the room.
Maxx: “B-RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!! YOU HAVE TO HELP ME!!”
He banged on Brad’s door. He cried and saw a sledgehammer. He grabbed it and banged on the door smashing it open.
Blake: “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, JESTER FUCK?”
He roared at Maxx. Maxx screamed and ran outside in nothing but his leopard print g-string.
The door crashed to the floor and out stepped a short, stout Italian-Australian man with swarthy skin somewhat resembling Blake. He had a round face, button nose, cerulean blue eyes, and mid-length chestnut brown hair. He was dressed in red and white cat pajamas with cat face prints all over the pants and sleeves of the shirt. He carried a fluffy tuxedo cat in his arms as he exited his bedroom, yawning and grounding his eyes with his fist. He is the younger brother of Blake and the alleged best friend of Maxx: Bradley “Brad” Sabatini.
Brad: “Blake, what is going on, dude?”
Blake: “That clown made a mess in his bedroom and smashed his window and TV!”
He growled.
Blake: “And smashed your bedroom door!”
He picked up the broken door and put it to one side. Brad knit his eyebrows.
Brad: “Go easy on him, dude… He lost his bandmates.”
He said anxiously.
Blake: “I don’t believe these ‘bandmates’ exist.”
He huffed and entered Maxx’s room again.
He stopped in his tracks when he saw the dead Xupran at his feet. Brad’s eyes widened at it. He stopped turgid with fear
Brad: “Wh-What is that?!”
His trembling hand pointed at it as his panic soared, even Blake was nervous.
Maxx: “Pfft, what are you assholes lookin’ at?!”
He whined and stamped his feet.
Blake: “Wh-What is that, clownlips?!”
He pointed to the dead bug. Maxx scoffed and waved his hand.
Maxx: “Some bug came in and ate my American Pizza tape! It was a toy or somethin’!”
He whined and stomped his feet. Blake felt somewhat at ease.
Blake: “It can’t be that bad if it eats that shit.”
He folded his arms over.
They heard a loud knock at the door. Brad went downstairs to answer it. Three people in hazmat suits were at the door.
Hazmat suit guy: “G’Day, sir, we’re here to clean your room!”
Brad smiled politely.
Brad: “I don’t think we hired any—”
They shoved him aside.
Hazmat suit guy: “Yes, you did.”
He said tersely and all ventured to Maxx's room. One of them saw the dead Xupran on the floor and he nodded to the other two.
Blake: “Who are you?!”
He demanded.
Hazmat suit guy: “We’re here to clean this room thoroughly!”
He said quickly as he grabbed the dead creature and disposed of it in a container as the others gathered all of Maxx’s stuff in biohazard bags. Maxx shrieked.
Maxx: “NOOOOOWAAAHHH!!! THAT’S MINE!”
He cried and tried to pry the people in the hazmat suits away. They shoved him off as they shoved everything in Maxx’s room in biohazard bags and two carried the mattress out.
Brad: “Wh-What are you guys doing?! Is this a mean prank by Craig?!”
He cried. Blake shrugged.
Blake: “Then he’s doing us a favor…, for once.”
He stood by and allowed the men to scour the room and remove everything from it.
Maxx: “NOOOOOOOO!!!”
He cried and jumped up and down. One of them took a picture of Maxx. Maxx’s demeanor immediately changed when they did that.
Maxx: “Ohohohoho, is that a glam shot for da lady babes?”
He wiggled his eyebrows. One of the men repaired the door for Brad’s room.
When they finished, the room was completely empty, the window was repaired, and it was as if a room wasn’t made for Maxx.
Maxx: “WHERE WILL I SLEEP NOOOOOOOOOW!?”
He caterwauled.
Blake: “Outside in a dog house.”
He said bluntly. Brad knit his eyebrows.
Brad: “We’ll buy a new TV and bed at the thrift store, dude. Don’t cry.”
He put his hands on Maxx’s shoulders. Maxx slapped them away.
Maxx: “YOU OWE ME ONE, YOU DOUBLE-CHIN FATTY!”
He screamed in Brad’s face and put on a leopard print jacket while still wearing his g-string.
Brad: “B-But why were those people there cleaning out everything, dude?”
He asked.
Maxx: “Pffft, who cares?! Let’s go in your piece of shit car, B-Rad! This ain’t no way for a rockstar to live, gosh!”
Maxx tripped over his pointy clown boots and fell face down on the steps. He wailed and flailed his arms.
Across the street stood a tall, wiry elderly white man with a black fedora hat. He has a narrow gaunt face with a prominent ski-jump nose and pronounced cleft in the chin. Dark sunglasses obscured his eyes. He was dressed in a black peacoat, black trousers, pointed dress shoes, and had black gloves on his hands. He folded his arms behind his back as he surveyed Maxx throwing a tantrum as Brad helped him up. He held up the polaroid of Maxx with the bite marks and the corner of his mouth hitched.
~
Brad used the last of the money he earned on the bake sales to buy Maxx a new bed, a TV, and a VCR.
Maxx: “WH-WHAT THE FUCK!? WHERE IS MY SEX BEEST MERCH AND MY CLOTHES?!”
He screamed and slapped the men as they carried the bed in. One of them shoved Maxx down on the floor.
Moving man: “Go away, mate.”
Brad bowed his head and shed his tears.
Brad: “S-Sorry, dude, it’s all I had.”
Maxx: “Some buddy you are, B-Rad! I gave you a rebel rocker diet and you’re the best bud of the coolest cat! You should give me more!”
He stomped his foot and pouted.
Blake: “He didn’t have to give you anything at all; if it were up to me, I would put you out on your ass!”
He rasped. Maxx scoffed at them.
Maxx: “You owe me for this, B-Rad!”
He snapped and stomped his feet. Brad bowed his head and heaved a deep sigh. He then gave Maxx a quizzical glance.
Brad: “But… who were those people?”
He scratched his head.
Maxx: “Iunno, probably Craig playing a prank on the beest!”
He huffed and folded his arms over.
Blake: “So why would they repair your window and Brad’s bedroom door?”
He cross-examined. Maxx stomped his feet and flailed his arms.
Maxx: “How should I know, Mr. Doom and Gloom? I’m not a neeeeeeerd! I’m HUNGRY!”
He whined and turned to Brad in a fury, pointing at him.
Maxx: “MAKE ME NUGGIES NOW, B-RAD! You owe me!”
He demanded, shaking his forefinger at him. Brad shrank and felt small against Maxx’s demands. Blake interjected.
Blake: “Listen, clown, he spent his last dollars to buy you a bed, VCR, and TV. He owes you nothing.”
He said firmly, standing between him and Brad. Brad meekly hung his head.
Brad: “It’s okay, dude. I’ll make his nuggets…”
He sighed and went out to the kitchen.
Maxx smiled smugly at Blake and stuck his tongue out at him.
Maxx: “One point for da beest, none for da asshole!”
He cackled and shot his fist in the air. Blake rolled his eyes and slapped him to one side as he went outside to have a smoke.
Maxx: “OWWWWWHHHH!!!”
Maxx whined as he hit the floor.
~
Brad was preparing peanut butter cookies for another bake sale to buy Maxx’s clothes and try to replace his merch. Maxx had a face on him like a week of wet weather angry with Brad for not replacing his clothes and merch.
Blake: “He didn’t have to get you a bed, TV, or VCR at all, jester fuck.”
Maxx: “NAH-AH! I am his bestest buddy, Mr. Doom and Gloom! He needs to get more for me!”
He whined. The phone rang and Brad went to get it.
Maxx: “If it’s that lame weirdo, Yvette, hang up! You have to make those goddamn cookies for Maxxy to get his merch!”
He whined and stomped his feet.
Brad heaved a deep sigh and answered the phone in the living room. When he left, Maxx went to pinch his cookies and felt his throat closing up. He didn’t know what was happening to him. He ate Brad’s peanut cookies before and this never happened. He gagged and choked. He held his hands to his throat as his face swelled up and turned purple. He fell facedown on the floor.
Brad cradled the receiver and went back into the kitchen. He screamed and pressed his hands against his temples.
Brad: “M-MAXX!!”
He screamed and rushed to him to lift him up. Blake shrugged.
Blake: “He’s faking it.”
He said flatly.
~
At the Selene Valley hospital, Maxx was being treated for anaphylaxis. Brad felt horrible and felt guilty for causing Maxx to go into an anaphylaxis shock.
Brad: “But he never had this before and he ate my nut cookies…”
He cupped his mouth as tears welled up in his eyes.
Brad: “This is my fault!”
He cried.
Blake: “It’s not your fault, Brad. Maxx should have known about his nut allergy and informed you.”
He said firmly but gently patting Brad’s shoulder reassuringly.
Brad: “Dude, he ate my peanut butter cookies before and this never happened…”
He shook his head, wanting to make sense of all of this. First, they see that giant cockroach, those men clean his room, and Maxx has a sudden allergy to nuts. None of this makes sense, he thought.
The same gaunt man observed Maxx in his room and had a smirk on his face. The doctor strode in and entered Maxx’s room. He adjusted his glasses and looked at his clipboard.
Doctor: “So it seems your friend, Maxwell Malone, has developed a sudden allergy to nuts—”
Maxx: “IT’S MAXX!! OR MAXXY!! GOSH!! Damn asshole!”
He snapped.
Blake: “Oh, you jester, he just saved your life—”
He took a step menacingly toward Maxx until Brad stopped him. The doctor harrumphed.
Doctor: “Although it’s uncommon, this can occur later in an individual’s life. So if you wish to have him remain in your house, it must be peanut-free.”
He explained.
Blake: “Let’s fill the whole house with peanuts.”
He said dryly. Brad knit his eyebrows.
Brad: “He’s just kidding, dude!”
He flailed his hands around as if he was warding off a fly. Blake arched an eyebrow.
Blake: “I was?”
~
Blake and Brad went down to the hospital cafeteria for a coffee and a bite to eat. The gaunt man in the black peacoat and fedora observed them for a moment and ventured back to Maxx’s room.
Someone knocked on his door. Maxx looked up with a pout on his face.
Maxx: “What do you want, geezer?!”
The man removed his hat showing his bald head and smiled at Maxx. He held up a Sex Beest poster with a felt-tip pen. Maxx’s face lit up.
Maxx: “Ohohohoho, you’re a Sex Beest fan!? Rockin’! You want my autograph.”
The man nodded and handed the pen to Maxx with the poster.
Maxx: “Be sure to tell the lady babes Maxxy is waitin’ and rockin’ with his cock out!”
He grinned and handed the poster back to the man. The man smiled at Maxx, nodded, and left the room putting his hat on. Maxx had a big grin on his face and then pouted.
Maxx: “WHERE ARE THOSE ASSHOLES?! I WANT OUT OF THIS DUMP!!”
His screams filled the entire floor.
~
The man examined the poster and chuckled. He pointed at Maxx’s picture and held up pictures of Celeste, Deimos, Lazaros, and a black and white photo of a young black woman dressed in a flapper dress. It had “Tabitha Ramires” written on the photo. The man glanced at it and looked sadly at it before he tucked the photos away in his jacket and rolled up the poster.
